Sunday, December 30, 2007
All that i did, during the lecture was shift my gaze from him to her and that kept me in splits. Her expressions were hysterical. Next lecture, i am sitting next to you. Your hilarious.
Actually, i was planning to bunk his lecture today to study for the end postings. Good i dint do that. It was worth it!
And hey, he dint even look out of the window today to gaze at the hostelites(particularly the freshers scurrying to be on time for the lectures). Hmmm, thanks to the Gloss girl who had commented in the Questionnare, "Stop being inquisitive about whats happening outside the class"
I think henceforth none of the departments are gonna ask for our feedbacks. This year they got enough from our batch to last for a long long time.
I´m done with community postings finaleeeeeee. What a relief! Thanks to my batchmates who preponed the end postings. The field trip was good. Spent more time hogging in the local hotel than acquiring the required data in the houses. In addition, the viva was also a baby ride.
Succeeded in studying few pages in the library too. Thanks to my friends who tried their best to scare me about the forthcoming exams.
So, all-in-all the day was great.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Anyways, i was discussing about the Sikkim bloke who happens to hold the Associate Professor position presently. Hmmm, the first day he went to the Deans office cutting the lecture short because we dint allow him to talk.. hehehe.. everyone kept teasing his "POPOLESON"(population) pronounciation .. and My OH My was he angry.. there were fumes coming out of his ears!!
And whats the next smart thing he does in order to take revenge?? Well, he sets the question paper for the exams. Wow! And all of us Flunk. Yup that too royally. May be that does give him saddistic pleasure. Nonetheless, it adds to our hatred towards him. In addition, he jolts our head during the community postings. Things get bitter as time passes by. One after the other, his irritating lectures and then his horrendous question papers result in meaningless single digit marks.. And now with low internals in our pockets, it just adds to the crop of dissapointments!! I dont even wanna think about it. Luckily Ophthal and Ent internals seem to be good thanks to the chits and mobiles!
Board exams coming up in the Next month. Time to grab our books after fooling around the whole year. Hurry up, there´s loads to read! All the best everybody!
After surviving happily 15 years of my life in Mumbai, adjusting to a place like Mangalore was initially tough.. Definitely, missed my family and friends back home during those beginner years.
3 years have passed by and things seem much better now. Initially, communication was a big problem, the language seemed so very alien. Come on, i learnt marathi all throughout my school days. Yet, even today, i cant converse fluently in it. And here i had to learn a new language all together. Thought it would be such a pain. But life always offers suprises. Boooom, i learnt to speak fluently in Tulu quite soon. Pleased with the progress. Thanks to all those who helped me learn the language by conversing and correcting my errors. Trying to pick on the others dialects now. :)
Hmmm.. There´s one thing i truely miss about my Home-Sweet-Home. The spirit of Mumbai!! The city is so damn active. Full of life! Everyone is engrossed in their own world. I miss those days when i would get up-catch a bus-then a train and head to college. Nothing can match up the daily experiences of travelling in Virar train. Hmmm.. The bhajans going on in the neighbouring compartment, the booking of seats in ladies compartment, "aap kahan uttar rahe hon??", the fights in the compartment when someone is not allowed to get off at their respective stations. The climb through the bridge to head west/east, even today i´m confused, i always land up in east when i´m determined to go west..hehe!! Ah yes, how can i forgot the floods during rainy season. Walking through knee-level water from college to bandra station. And then someone declares, "tracks bhar gaye, train bandh hain".. Yep, i miss all that. But life goes on.
Things are completely different in Mangalore.Life´s so slow. And the best adaptation is: "Living here has made me slow too. I´ve become extremely lazy." Lazy to go anywhere for that matter. I guess i am so frustrated living here that i´ve decided to isolate myself. I do hate the attitude around here. Caste discrimination is rampant... Even among the educated people. There´s a lot left for the city to grow. Agree, commercialization is happening. That is a boon for the economic growth of the city. On the contrary, the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer. None of this is gonna help change the mindset of the locals around here. Forget that! People distinguish among those within a subcaste too. Its important that the feeling of brotherhood and equality in society be taught at the root levels.
How can i forget this! People here are very nosy. Why cant people lead their respective lives without bothering about whats happening in their neighbours house?? Well, if u have got loads of time and nothing to do, then spend time with ur family, watch TV or else just go to sleep. But DONT interfere in other people´s lives. Poking around is not gonna help you progress or for that matter achieve anything substansial.
Another thing that irritated me in college was the buttering of lecturers. Everyone wants to be under the lecturers nose and make a good impression. Thats so bloody irritating. Well, its equal to praising the donkeys and making them shit on your head. What for?
In Mumbai, we hardly cared for them. Hell, we dint even bother to ask them for their names. They were those UNKNOWN lots.
A Lecturers job involves just 4 things:
1) Duty is JUST to teach. DONT PREACH!
2) Your PAID for it!
3) Dont interfere in students life. Its none of your business.
4)If you dont like the students attitude. Oh come on, BUZZ off! Who cares??
Tips to survive in Mangalore: I DONT CARE attitude is a must. It certainly helps. A number of people will advice you regarding what is right and wrong. Just be calm and listen. But most importantly, when you take the final decision - USE YOUR HEAD..And yes, Stay away from those "fake smiles" or those "I wanna be your best friend". They just wanna suck out all the pleasure from your life..Beware of them!!
Two more years to finish off the course i´m currently pursuing. Desperately waiting for time to fly by and say Goodbye to Mangalore! Next destination UNKNOWN......
Friday, December 21, 2007
This song is dedicated to AheN YttehS (m sure you must have realised who).. I know that you like to grab every possible opportunity to sing this song. Alas, none of my batchmates allow you to do so (the reason unknown ;-). hehehe!) Dont u worry, read the lyrics n rejoice.. Merry Christmas!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer : Lyrics
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows.
All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
Then all the reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
you'll go down in history!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Thankfully there still continues to be the spirit of motivation to achieve the impossible and to face "out of the blue" reality. Does that seem unethical? Yes,certainly for the majority it does seem wierd. But who cares??
A lesson i've learnt in these 3 years of 'professional study' life. Turn your back on those who just Yap or boast about their qualities. It doesnt matter how many 'such category of' friends you have for they are helpless to help you. Hehe. The wisest thing to do is : Avoid them!
Well, I don’t listen to my well wishers. Actually, I don’t listen to myself either. Have heard and listened to the spiritual gurus, and was awakened and shaken to the core, and yet, had the most inactive weekend ever, fresh after all the inputs on the importance of being active in mind, body, and spirit! The silver lining, however, is that I am atleast aware and fully conscious of what I’m doing to my own self. So all hope ain’t lost just yet. Or so I tell myself and continue to wallow.
At times i feel the need to seek a shrink. Will it help dwindle the confusion? My good friend says NO. She says i'll become habituated to it. Obviously, I need a thorough shaking up of some kind. There has to be a solution. But the question is how? And that makes me more determined to find out the answer. So, what am I waiting for? A lifestyle disease to hit me in the face and force me to toe the line of discipline and care for my physical health? There are reasons all around me to care for my emotional and mental health. And yet I let myself rot away.
An added contemplation : Guess, its time to move to a new place where I don’t know anybody and no one knows me. Start life afresh. Shave my head and turn into a saint. Then new brains would grow inside my head just like the mane above it.
Well, the power of anonymity is I crave for new experiences. Fearing the unknown has only resulted in a state of stagnation worse than the unknown itself. This should have been the unknown to be fearful of!
I wish i could switch off myself temporarily like the mobile phones and be Unreachable for sometime. Wish there was a good enough reason to want to go away.
Its not that i'm running away from my identity. Guess its just that I’m tired Of the MONOTONOUS life I’m currently leading. There's simply nothing to do. I'm hell bored!
And what one longs for is a refreshing change. In all respects. New scenery, new things to learn, new stuff to do. What would it be like I wonder?? There’s so much I wanna do, yet no action is taken in the right direction. So many self-imposed
shackles. I don’t want to turn back the clock anymore. An exercise in futility anyway. Even nostalgia is not what it used to be. Might as well look ahead at the new and the exciting. Until of course that gets old too at some point.
Insomnia does indeed take the wraps off an individual. More often than not, a person is well-acquainted with one's self during these solitary moments when rest are peacefully asleep. That reminds me i gotta catch up few hours of sleep too to be able to attend the lectures tomorrow. Hopefully shall find temporary liberty in my dreams. Naaaah.. thats also not possible, will again be seeing those stupid forests, terrace and running feet. How brutal!
Optimistically, tomorrow will be better!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
The comments were :
Stop looking at your shoes and nails!
Why do you pause so many times during a sentence? Complete it fast!
Please face the students atleast once during the lecture.
Who are you teaching?
Learn from your wife! (his wife happens to be a very good gynaec lecturer)
And the best comment award goes to: No hopes of improvement, so no comments..
It must have been really embarrassing for him to go through all the above stated rubbish. We thought he´d never take a lecture again. What a relief!
Alas, he landed again the next day and wow did we notice any change. Yes, ofcourse, we did. He boldly faced the students while taking attendance. Once again, this BOLD ACT didnt last long and after he´d finished calling out all the roll numbers, he was back to his original useless self! As boring and irritating as ever. Staring at his feet-then nails-then powerpoint-n the same old story continued.
One saying is perfectly apt for him:
"Set a frog on a golden stool, and off it hops again into the pool."
Monday, December 3, 2007
No screams and no shouts
And I'll thank my teachers
With more and more doubts
I'll read when required
And shut off myself from fun.
If not so shall be done
I´ll shoot myself with an imaginary gun
I'm happy for New Year's
Another yesterdays gone
Surely, the Present is gonna be fun
And this time next year,
I'll think how I've been
And then I'll start writing
Plans for the next year umpteen
Sunday, December 2, 2007
But right now, thats not on my mind.. I´m confused about my present and future.. I have no idea what I am going to do for a living and I don't know whether I know what it is that I want to do after my graduation.
I know that most people have experienced this phase. Some have come out on top of the uncertainty, some have lagged behind. Some are doing what they have always dreamed of doing and some are still chasing their dreams. Only time will tell where I'll land up.I wish I could believe that a significant part of my future did not hinge on the decision I have to make right now. I wish that I could know, like some people, instinctively what I'm good at. For eg, if i would have been good at drawing, i would have been a painter; or good at singing then i would have been a singer... But i´m good at none of these.. and i guess, thats one of the reason i landed up doing what i´m presently doing. I have this absurd feeling that I might be better at one thing. Good enough to make a living out of it. Step up, go out, beat the competition. That being said, I wouldn't trade the ability to do either. But sometimes I think that the 'Jack of all trades...' adage epitomises the situation brilliantly.
Some days I want to leave for a new world. Study in a place where I have to learn a completely new way of life. Discover a new routine. New people. Then some days I wonder how I would cope. How I would deal with New and Sudden as opposed to Old and Routine.Though i wouldnt wanna compromise my sleep for it! hehehe! and yep that reminds me about the dreams that i always get! wierd really wierd! I´m running through a forest.. lots of trees around.. crushing the dried leaves beneath my feet.. yeah i saw my feet.. hmmm.. so i´m running without sandals huh.. and it just goes on and on, never ending.. Sometimes, i dream of climbing stairs..one-two-three.. and then when i reach the terrace, i jump.. falling from a height.. but i dont happen to reach the ground.. why, these incomplete dreams?? and why do the same episodes keep running through my mind?? what does it all mean?? yieeeeekss, they just add to the confusion! yeah, i know i´ve diverted from the topic.. so where was i?
Yup, when I look back at my decisions so far, I look back without regret. I have absolutely no complaints as far as my past is concerned. But I sometimes wonder, what if....what if I had not left engineering and slogged through it all and finished? I would have nowhere else to look and I would get a job. Some job. Atleast through influence ;-) Any job. Here, I have no idea, not an inkling. And on some days, the really bad ones, I wonder about this decision to go off the beaten path. On days like that it seems like a plunge into the ocean. The deepest bit. And I really don't know how to swim anyway. Really!
Then I wake up from wondering what life on the other side is like and I just know what the true meaning of life is. I wouldn't be happy doing a course just to get the job. I would never be happy doing a 9 to 5 job. Or maybe working under a boss.. Here in this profession, you are your own boss. The decision taken is no one else´s but yours alone.. Thats one aspect about my profession which makes me happy. Even if I don't know where I'll land up. Brave or idiotic...I'll know in a bit.
Today, just for now, I wish I had all the right answers. I wish I could see into myself and find one. And I wish, above everything else, that I had some more faith. In the powers that be, in the surprise packages life throws at you around the bend, and most of all, I wish I had some more faith in myself. In my decisions. In my dreams for the tomorrow I cannot yet see. Till then, its confusion more n more..