Why always late?

Hundreds of people always ask me this question.. ´hey why do u always come late´, ´can u never be on time´..
Be it for lectures, meetings, occasions, birthdays, outing with friends, blah blah n yes that includes university examinations.. I´m always late.. n honestly i´ve got no answer for it..
Many a times i´ve asked myself this question but all in vain..Well, tonight since there´s nothing much to do.. but again keeping in mind that there´s a lecture to attend at 8 am tomorrow (not that it bothers me but yes, definitely the others who advice "why deal with unnecessary shortage of attendance") i´ve decided to jot down few reasons for being self-acclaimed procrastinator..
Most of the reasons wont make any sense, the reason being.. yeah u couldnt guess it.. coz even i´m not sure of it.. guess its clairvoyant me! but if u still insist i´m ready to bore u with some exceptionally intelligent theories.
I can "never" get up early in the morning.. even if i happen to sleep early, hmmm.. say as early as 6 pm the previous day or even if i´ve happened to catch up more than 14 hours of sleep the day before.. it just doesnt matter..it makes absolutely no difference if i sleep for just 2 hours or 16 hours.. i need to sleep from 6am clock to 9am clock..Thats my definition of COMPLETE n PEACEFUL sleep.. extra hours of sleep is always an added bonus but again it never helps to get up early.. so basically i need those heavenly hours of early morning sleep.
Also, m very much nocturnal in life.. my brains n eyes open up after the fabulous sunset.. during the day, i´m the DUMBEST n as it gradually progresses into night, i turn DUMBER n then just DUMB.. excuse me for the wierd use of wrong-superlatives here but people who know me would have realised that i couldnt have used better words to describe myself..
Ah so where was i, yep nocturnal attitude.. i´ve developed this "owlish" behaviour as a kid.. yeah 11 year old.. would stay up late at night reading those Enid Blyton books coz i just dint wanna break the momentum and then moved on to more novels then text books n finally it turned into a habit wherein studies could be done only at night.. trying to read up anything during the day including listening to class used to be a WASTE coz just nothing would/could enter my head..teachers would fire left n right but that made no difference coz i was hardly listening but sleeping all throughout. and that holds true even today when i end up answering nothing during vivas.. there have been a number of times when i´ve tried to get out of this habit by sleeping throughout the day n night hoping that i´ll get up early in the morning next day and study for exams(atleast with the fear that "well i´ve read nothing yesterday but lemme try reading in d morning") but the results have been otherwise, wherein i landed staring at the so-called EASY question paper and in the end submitted blank answer sheets.. have tried everything possible to set a normal biological clock for daily activities but Insomnia just rules..
As far as being late for meetings/outings is concerned.. well, if the meetings are in the morning ùve already guessed the answer,but if its later in the day n i was late then the reason could be extra hours of sleep coz just couldnt get enough of rest n peace during the whole week..so, the ultimate sleep cycle prevails! and if the meeting is at night then again assume that i´ve slept early coz yesterday´s sleep wasnt enough..Right now, i´m confused whether i sleep too much or whether i´m Nocturnal.. coz if i happen to sleep,then i sleep royally n if i dont sleep then i can stay awake forever too.. understood?? i know u wont coz its too tough for me to decide too..
I land up late for University Exams bcoz i´ve never finished studying half the portion due to an unstable mind.. so, why enter the examination hall when i know nothing.. let me read something for 15 more min to cover up few more topics to atleast know something..
Birthdays... nah! i always forget them.. bcoz m least bothered bout my own birthday.. but yes, thats one day i usually bunk college coz thats "my" day n i celebrate it the mad style.. doing what?? getting up late, eating, sleeping, eating n sleeping.. n birthday just passes by whoooooooooosh!
I love the proverb, "Procrastination is the thief of time" Preaching these words is a different thing altogether but following it naaaaaah; and i firmly believe in the latter..

And if u havent had enough of reading the above nonsense.. i guess its time u join my gang, "CLAIRVOYANT XORKES"